Baby and Maid

The other day we brought Ethan for his immunisation jab at AMK polyclinic. My wife, ,mum and maid went along as well. 2 interesting things happened on this trip. I shall relate one this time round.

While we were waiting for the doctor, we got to speak to a few mums and grandmas, who were there to bring their babies for jab too. In particular, I got to speak to a grandma, during which she gave me an advice. This is how this part of our conversation went:

Grandma: Why do you let the baby have so much physical contact with the maid? (upon seeing that my maid was trying to cuddle Ethan to sleep, and no doubt a rhetorical question)

Me: .... (don't know how to reply, so wait for her to explain further)

Grandma: Once your baby get used to the smell of the maid, he'll stick with her and you'll have trouble gaining his affection. its better to prevent this from the very beginning. wats worse, once your maid leaves, you gonna have trouble cos he'll miss the maid...etc..etc...

Me: .... (nodded, and just smile)

Okay, here's my thought:

Firstly,

How can anyone prevent "love", and still be right? of course i'm not taking about love for heroin or love for lying... i'm talking about love in its purest sense (which i think is undefinable by the way, you just know it).

Ethan is going to spend more time with my maid, or anyone taking care of him, while me and my wife is working. Naturally, he'll feel for his care-takers, and maybe more than he feels for us (mum and dad) at this point in time, simply due to the time they spent with him. Am I going to subject myself to jealousy or guilt simply becuase of that? I don't think so, really.

Me and my wife loves Ethan with all our heart. I'm sure Ethan will come to realise that in time. I am sure he will love us back as well. By him loving and feeling attachment to the maid, does not mean that he has less love to spare for his mum and dad. I think love is stretcheable... not a zero-sum game, it is expandable.. and ideally boundless...

On the other hand, we should feel happy, that he loves his maid. For he has an instinctive understanding of piety, even at this tender age. We should not teach him otherwise.

We should also feel blessed, that our maid really cares for him (we hope and we'll know in time to come).

As such, who are we to "prevent" our baby having "too much" affection for our maid?

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Many a time, I feel I should spend more time with Ethan, especially during the weekends when he comes back to stay with us. I'm sure my wife feels that too. And we should.

On another note, I feel that we should not revolve our lives around Ethan (I say this with pragmatism, and I can only hope readers understand what I mean). Or we risk burning out in the long run. We should have our fair share of social lives and activities. What this means is that it is okay to take the occassional tea-sessions with friends and leave Ethan in the care of trusted people. It is ok to have the occasional poker sessions (ha...), or any other activities, and NOT feel guilty that the time spent should be with our baby instead.

Of course, its about balancing at the end of the day, never forgetting the foundation laid with love. As such, i resolve to give up my regular holdem session during weekends, but instead spend more time with Ethan and Candy.. Yeah..!